ok i am done being a diplomat.
consensus doesnt work. two people on the trans march committee dont want tribe 8, the rest do. which is fine, we quit anyway. it's a blood bath. glad i'm not there. but they do want me to MC. not sure i understand the difference between me and Tribe 8.
i love this one. in the melee some poor bastard called tribe 8 SELF APPOINTED MESSENGERS OF TRANSINCLUSION. oh! you mean i took the initiative all these years? i'm sorry. should have been a sheep and waited to be invited to the revolution.
agency. DIY. pick up the mic. every time we make a decision, or speak up for ourselves or our community, ie, for someone besides us, we're all self-appointed
no, wait. fuck community. every man for himself. building community is transphobic!
punx, queers, performers,what the fuck were we thinking? we should have hid under the bed and put a sock in it. if we speak up for anyone who doesn't have the power of the mic, who's not onstage at that moment, we are self appointed, that is, self-serving.
if we go to michigan to speak up for trannies, we have the blood of trannies on our hands. if we dont speak for others, we'll have their blood on our hands for NOT speaking up for them. either way we're fucked. how convenient. its ez to make revolutionaries crazy when you use their own language against them until they no longer know whats right and who is an ally. destroy trust, and you destroy movements.
so it looks like helping the disenfranchised isnt noble, it's just being an attention hog.
um, thats what political performers are. cuz we like the spotlight, we speak for the quiet, the sick, the writers, waiters, dogwalkers, our audience, our community, the working class too busy making a living to make art, and those that shy away from the mic.
yes, i spoke up for transwomen on evil womens land. who asked me to speak for transwomen?
oh i dont know, my transwomen friends that couldn't go, were too sick or dead from AIDS, or welfare queens that could pass well enuff to get into michigan, but couldn't afford to go becuz they couldnt pass well enuff for decent employment.
how many transwomen were my friends in 75? 85? 95?i know transwomen not becuz i'm a good feminist but becuz i am a transman, yet seen as a woman, so i cant help but hang out with transwomen cuz they are my fucking people on every level.
self appointed? yep i am. becuz almost all of my transwomen friends are either too dead or sick of AIDS to appoint me. my best sister, chloe, frontwoman of the now defunct band transister, wrote songs in the 90's about the specific issues transwomen have with child molestation, sensitivity training, and AIDS. it rocked severely. but you dont know about the landmark album or her genius performances by for and about transwomen, becuz chloe cant keep doing it becuz she is sick.
i fight for transinclusion at michigan for chloe. when i asked her what she thought of the festival, she sighed and i could hear the resentment in her voice. she's afraid to leave NYC in case she needs a doctor. but she's tough. she's not copping to that shit.
"its cool. i dont want to go where i'm not wanted. and who wants to go camping anyway!?"
which is how most of the transwomen i know feel about camping. theyre high femmes. HIGH high femmes. no amount of a giant tent with full length mirrors and pirates booty chests full of gowns could satisfy their lust for fashion. if i could, i'd carry chloe's entire wardrobe to her circus size tent and set it up in the woods.
i hang out with transwomen who make great art. but its hard to track em down these days becuz most of em are fucking dead. oh there are a few making some kind of art. but some of the most hilarious and brilliant shit is on AIDS zines and punk cds that are out of print, becuz those who made it are no longer here to promote it.
who led the fight against AIDS for the past 20- years? lesbians. who are at the top of the AIDS demographic? transwomen. so who is fighting hardest for transwomen? lesbians. self appointed! codependents! let the trannies fend for themselves!
well they would but it's hard wheeling the IV drip down the hall to the other transwoman's hospital room who is too sick to wheel her IV drip.
so who has blood on their hands? the ones who try to silence lesbians by shutting down michigan. ask kate bornstein. "lesbians are not the enemy."
i was raised by transwomen in the fucking 70's. and all the transfeminism that we use today is based on the feminism that was developed at places like michigan. that is why i work so hard to connect the two movements. because i came from a community of nelly queens, fags, and transwomen first, and many years later went to the land of my lesbian aunties and foremothers where i had to fight for acceptance. i wasnt in touch with them when they were doing their feminist thing in the 70's because i was speeding, drinking, and smoking my brains out in order to transition and hanging out with other trans people.
my not at all feeble attempt to transition with the wrong drugs in the 80's brought hep c, which makes hormonal transition now deadly, and keeps me looking like a woman and therefore sticking up for women forever, transwomen as well as lesbians. now i stand for solidarity because lesbians are potential allies of transwomen. becuz they listen and bush doesnt.
i dont want to wake up one day with the realization that i helped destroy my world with complicity and silence.
don't get drowned out. keep yelling. dont ever shut up or hide. keep yelling until youre hoarse no matter what they call you. shame is a worthless emotion other than to teach you what not to do. follow your fuckin heart if you can hear it over the three loudtalking wizards of oz acting like virtual thousands on the net. appoint yourself to speak up for yourself and everyone you love. dont wait to be appointed. it will never happen. do what you believe.